According to relationship experts, snooping is perpetually wrong regardless of what you find during your ‘investigations’. This, in turn, can put a strain in your relationship which would have been healthy otherwise! Snooping is mostly fueled by fear of getting hurt as you have been before, insecurities and mere curiosity. Your partner just went to the washroom and forgot to lock his phone. His phone vibrates. You pick it up and decide to take a tiny little peek and read one- or maybe 10 of his texts messages. Besides he lets you read his messages out for him when his hands are engaged! In case you are in that situation here are four reasons why you should not.
Undermines your trust
Let’s say that you find some ‘wanting’ text of her flirting with a coworker and since you are in a rush you don’t get time to get the grasp of the entire conversation. This makes you so mad that you decide to confront her about it. The big question is how do you let her know that you went through her phone? Once you admit to snooping, you open the Pandora box of emotions which are mostly negative: feelings of betrayal and guilt on your part.
Lack of communication can make you feel left out and in the process get curious about what your partner is hiding from you. In this case, there is an underlying problem that cannot be solved by going through his email. It would be better if you talked about what is bothering you rather than nosing. Research has it that men get more offended than women when they discover that their partners have been snooping.
Lowers your Self-esteem
Let’s face it; snooping won’t make you feel good about your actions. If for instance, you get nothing, wont you be curious to snoop again in a couple of months? Because evidently, you are on a mission to find something inappropriate. What happens once you confirm your worst fears? Have you thought through everything and what your next cause of action will be? According to research, most people who snoop have deep-seated issues that don’t necessarily have to do anything with their partners. How about deal with that first?
What you don’t know won’t kill you
Though you might easily forgive your man for flirting with Becky with the nice hair, how sure are you that he will forgive you for invading his privacy? At the end of the day, you will feel better about yourself if you face your fears head-on rather than going through his stuff. It is much simpler to respect each other’s right to privacy and personal space. Your world may revolve around each other but you are two separate individuals at the end of the day!
If you are still not convinced and the temptation is still strong, then you need to review your priorities. Instead of obsessing about what your partner is doing how about you get a hobby. That should take care of the extra time you evidently have in your hands!